Thursday, November 16, 2006
CAN MAN SCREW DEAD ANIMALS?
DUHLUTH. It's the time of the season when real men slap on camoflauge from head to toe, then cover that up with blaze orange and then smother themselves with female deer piss and hang out in a tree waiting to kill Bambi's parents.
Almost like a siren call, hunters from across the state make their way to their hallowed hunting grounds, whether they are hunting deer, duck, geese, grouse or whether your like me and like to go to the nearest mall, climb the rafters, and hunt Christmas...sorry...holiday shoppers. It's a season to be jolly. But no so much for necro-beastie Zeke Gephardt.
The 20 year old Infurior, Wisconsin man was taking a nice scenic drive through the back roads of Duhluth, MN and spotted himself a struck deer. Not struck by a bullet but by a vehicle. Zeke, feeling the primative instinct kick in, stopped his car, dragged the mangled deer into the nearby woods, and made love to it's carcass.
The DNR spotted this odd sight and arrested him. It seems Mr. Gephardt has a record of odd sexual behavior, a year ago he was arrested for shooting a horse and riding it...the wrong way. The very WRONG way.
Sadly enough, a lawyer has taken the case. I know, big surprise. The defense lawyers case against the state is this, "Yes, my client agrees it's wrong to screw animals, but the animal ceases to be an animal once it is dead. Therefore, my client did not have sexual relations with an animal, it was a carcass."
This logic explains the reason four Wisconsin teenagers from a previous R.A.G. Files story thought it was okay to dig up a woman who had been deceased 4 days and were planning on having sex with her.
However this trial pans out, it disturbs me to think that this person is of legal voting age.
Almost like a siren call, hunters from across the state make their way to their hallowed hunting grounds, whether they are hunting deer, duck, geese, grouse or whether your like me and like to go to the nearest mall, climb the rafters, and hunt Christmas...sorry...holiday shoppers. It's a season to be jolly. But no so much for necro-beastie Zeke Gephardt.
The 20 year old Infurior, Wisconsin man was taking a nice scenic drive through the back roads of Duhluth, MN and spotted himself a struck deer. Not struck by a bullet but by a vehicle. Zeke, feeling the primative instinct kick in, stopped his car, dragged the mangled deer into the nearby woods, and made love to it's carcass.
The DNR spotted this odd sight and arrested him. It seems Mr. Gephardt has a record of odd sexual behavior, a year ago he was arrested for shooting a horse and riding it...the wrong way. The very WRONG way.
Sadly enough, a lawyer has taken the case. I know, big surprise. The defense lawyers case against the state is this, "Yes, my client agrees it's wrong to screw animals, but the animal ceases to be an animal once it is dead. Therefore, my client did not have sexual relations with an animal, it was a carcass."
This logic explains the reason four Wisconsin teenagers from a previous R.A.G. Files story thought it was okay to dig up a woman who had been deceased 4 days and were planning on having sex with her.
However this trial pans out, it disturbs me to think that this person is of legal voting age.
