Monday, October 16, 2006
FAREMOUNT PD, DO NOT SERVE OR PROTECT
FAREMOUNT. It was a beautiful October evening. Out front, Banana Spinner, Lost Bird's eldest step-daughter, was playing with her younger sister Kate and a neighborhood friend. Suzanne prepared a delicious meal in the kitchen and Lost Bird was living out his dream as a rock n roll star in some roadhouse in Welcum.
A group of boys, ages 9-10, decided to scare the girls in the front yard. One boy took his teasing too far. One Lazarus, grabs Banana from behind around the neck and with the other hand holding an unknown foreign object, pretends to slash her throat. In reality, he slashes her face. From her bottom lip to the side of her cheek there lies a shallow cut.
Suzanne tries to talk about the incident with the boy's mother. She in turn threatens Suzanne and tells her to keep her daughter out of her f-ing yard. "Your son was in OUR yard." Suzanne replied. The conversation went nowhere.
The police were then called. One of Faremount's finest, Officer Gene Awesome, went to Lazarus' home and interviewed him and his mother. He then tiresomely went back to eating donughts and picking his linty ass in a back alley.
Later in the evening, Banana's grandmother, a Ms. Spam Spinner called up the officer who was working on a huge peice of lint. She asked if he had done anything about the incident.
"What incident?" he asked annoyed, "The kids were just playing together and messing around and all he did was scratch her."
"How do you know she was scratched?" Spam replied, "You didn't even take photos or talk to her?"
"Look you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I don't need you to sit there and tell me how to do my job..."
Spam then hung up on the officer, leaving him to his butt cleansing rituals.
My take on this? So am I to tell my step-daughter, sorry, but if you get jumped or assaulted in your own front yard, the cops won't do anything about it.Faremount PD, one of the highest paid police officers in the state. Faremount PD, population 11,500 people, and there are more officer's per capita here than in Minneapolis and St. Paul put together. I will leave the opinions up to you.
A group of boys, ages 9-10, decided to scare the girls in the front yard. One boy took his teasing too far. One Lazarus, grabs Banana from behind around the neck and with the other hand holding an unknown foreign object, pretends to slash her throat. In reality, he slashes her face. From her bottom lip to the side of her cheek there lies a shallow cut.
Suzanne tries to talk about the incident with the boy's mother. She in turn threatens Suzanne and tells her to keep her daughter out of her f-ing yard. "Your son was in OUR yard." Suzanne replied. The conversation went nowhere.
The police were then called. One of Faremount's finest, Officer Gene Awesome, went to Lazarus' home and interviewed him and his mother. He then tiresomely went back to eating donughts and picking his linty ass in a back alley.
Later in the evening, Banana's grandmother, a Ms. Spam Spinner called up the officer who was working on a huge peice of lint. She asked if he had done anything about the incident.
"What incident?" he asked annoyed, "The kids were just playing together and messing around and all he did was scratch her."
"How do you know she was scratched?" Spam replied, "You didn't even take photos or talk to her?"
"Look you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I don't need you to sit there and tell me how to do my job..."
Spam then hung up on the officer, leaving him to his butt cleansing rituals.
My take on this? So am I to tell my step-daughter, sorry, but if you get jumped or assaulted in your own front yard, the cops won't do anything about it.Faremount PD, one of the highest paid police officers in the state. Faremount PD, population 11,500 people, and there are more officer's per capita here than in Minneapolis and St. Paul put together. I will leave the opinions up to you.
