Saturday, April 29, 2006
Gee Dubya at the Pumps
Texas. The national average price of gasolene is anywhere around $3.10 per gallon. And usually, everytime there is a gas hike, there's usually a very good reason for it. 9-11, Desert Storm, Desert Sheild, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Wilma, Tsunami, Earthquakes, Indigestion, the sky being blue, blah blah blah blah...
Well, President Gee Dubya has stepped up to the plate to bat for us taxpayers at the pump. Passing through congress a bill that will give us $100 back during tax season next year. Yep, that's right, one hundred dollars. A one, with two zero's behind it. Of course, you'll be taxed on that. Which after state and federal will come to $3.10.
Does anybody remember the 1970's? When people were lined up at the pumps for miles? When locking gas caps were a necessity? Does anybody out there feel the need to syphon gas? I know after I put $50 in my gas tank and came out with a half tank of gas I was eyeing that little Geo Metro with it's gas cap open, urging me to drink it's magical juice inside with a clear plastic tube. Well, let's all write our President and thank him for the $3.10, I'm sorry $100 rebate at the end of the year.
Oil companies are robbing us blind, making an enormous profit, and Gee Dubya is going to give them a tax break as well! I'm riding my bike to work, but the price gouge is going to carry over into every aspect of your life. From buying groceries, flying, heating your home, buying any products shipped by truck, plane, or train.
Well, President Gee Dubya has stepped up to the plate to bat for us taxpayers at the pump. Passing through congress a bill that will give us $100 back during tax season next year. Yep, that's right, one hundred dollars. A one, with two zero's behind it. Of course, you'll be taxed on that. Which after state and federal will come to $3.10.
Does anybody remember the 1970's? When people were lined up at the pumps for miles? When locking gas caps were a necessity? Does anybody out there feel the need to syphon gas? I know after I put $50 in my gas tank and came out with a half tank of gas I was eyeing that little Geo Metro with it's gas cap open, urging me to drink it's magical juice inside with a clear plastic tube. Well, let's all write our President and thank him for the $3.10, I'm sorry $100 rebate at the end of the year.
Oil companies are robbing us blind, making an enormous profit, and Gee Dubya is going to give them a tax break as well! I'm riding my bike to work, but the price gouge is going to carry over into every aspect of your life. From buying groceries, flying, heating your home, buying any products shipped by truck, plane, or train.
Moon Valley Library and Nazi Training Camp
Faremount. America's public library system. To most it's a nice place to quietly relax and lose yourself in the adventure of a book. To others it's a place to use the internet because your bitch ex-wife won't give you the computer, your boat, or a decent price for half the f*cking farmhouse...but I digress.
The Moon Valley Library plays the role of all these things, for a price! According to it's head librarian and wife of Moon Valley Judge, Thomas Stalker, it's a place of complete and utter silence. "Or else there will be hell to pay!" Mrs. Stalker replies.
There is a nice puppet theater for the kids, with an enormous amount of puppets to choose from. Also, there are many computers for access to the world beyond the Moon Valley county line, (not that the R.A.G. Files implies that there is one). THere are movies in VHS and DVD format for home enjoyment. Magazines, Newspapers, and many other great programs available to the general public.
"You just better damn well have your library card, release forms signed in triplicate, permission slips signed by your parents, grandparents, Doctor and in some cases your dentist! Ot you cannot use any of it! ANY OF IT! Blahh-haaa-haaa-haaa!" cries Mrs. Stalker.
I'm tired of the dregs of society thinking they can come in here with their late fees or a wrinkled library card and think they can use my stuff! MY STUFF!"
Also, whenever any books of say a "questionable" subject matter, the library computer reports it first to the library policeman, then the Faremount police, then to the Moon Valley SHeriff's office, then to the FBI where the client is put on a list and that is given to the head of National Security, the head of National Security will then scan all the names in the database, and pick out names that he may feel are a threat to national security. (especially if the names are 12 to 14 years old and female...but I digress).
Knowing the capacity a library found here in this small little town, makes the world a better and safer place to be. God Bless America.
The Moon Valley Library plays the role of all these things, for a price! According to it's head librarian and wife of Moon Valley Judge, Thomas Stalker, it's a place of complete and utter silence. "Or else there will be hell to pay!" Mrs. Stalker replies.
There is a nice puppet theater for the kids, with an enormous amount of puppets to choose from. Also, there are many computers for access to the world beyond the Moon Valley county line, (not that the R.A.G. Files implies that there is one). THere are movies in VHS and DVD format for home enjoyment. Magazines, Newspapers, and many other great programs available to the general public.
"You just better damn well have your library card, release forms signed in triplicate, permission slips signed by your parents, grandparents, Doctor and in some cases your dentist! Ot you cannot use any of it! ANY OF IT! Blahh-haaa-haaa-haaa!" cries Mrs. Stalker.
I'm tired of the dregs of society thinking they can come in here with their late fees or a wrinkled library card and think they can use my stuff! MY STUFF!"
Also, whenever any books of say a "questionable" subject matter, the library computer reports it first to the library policeman, then the Faremount police, then to the Moon Valley SHeriff's office, then to the FBI where the client is put on a list and that is given to the head of National Security, the head of National Security will then scan all the names in the database, and pick out names that he may feel are a threat to national security. (especially if the names are 12 to 14 years old and female...but I digress).
Knowing the capacity a library found here in this small little town, makes the world a better and safer place to be. God Bless America.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Spinners Arrive Safe, Good Times Roll
Flea Blocker, Belize.
With the safe arrival of part of the Spinner Clan in this small corner of Central America, everyone eat, drank made merry and took the water taxi out to the island of Flea Blocker, so named because of a British naval station here that once existed to deter ownerless dogs and cats from inundating the island with flea bitten depravity.
That experiment miserably failed, as attested to by the presence of many three-legged and one-eyed beach combers. In 1823 the British were finally forced to except defeat, with the loss of one forth to two thirds of their entire Armada. The once revered Admiral Grog was forced to cut rum rations and was run up a nine iron and keel hauled amidships by his officers as a result. Meanwhile the dogs and cats celebrated their independance. It did not last long however, as the Great Mange Rebellion of 1856 pitted the three legged sociocialist dogs against the no-eyed, Republicanist cats with nothing left to lose. The resulting in-fighting led to over 100 years of disorder and civil strife until 2006, when Un.N. observed elections restored calm and a moderate government came to power granting representation to three and four leggeds alike.
At the end of April, 2006 the Spinners have arrived to an island tourism economy with full services, weak septic systems and toilets that ovberflow, but do so peacefully and with a good bit of respect. Beach, golf carts, sand, snorkling and coconut palms make up just some of the over 200 sights and sounds this historic isle has to offer. Good health, the posession of Belizean dollars and a willingness to swim have aided the Spinners in their transition from the solemn, frigid, freezy-ness of 50 degree Minnesota to the near tropical to beyond tropical ecology of Flea Blocker.
With the safe arrival of part of the Spinner Clan in this small corner of Central America, everyone eat, drank made merry and took the water taxi out to the island of Flea Blocker, so named because of a British naval station here that once existed to deter ownerless dogs and cats from inundating the island with flea bitten depravity.
That experiment miserably failed, as attested to by the presence of many three-legged and one-eyed beach combers. In 1823 the British were finally forced to except defeat, with the loss of one forth to two thirds of their entire Armada. The once revered Admiral Grog was forced to cut rum rations and was run up a nine iron and keel hauled amidships by his officers as a result. Meanwhile the dogs and cats celebrated their independance. It did not last long however, as the Great Mange Rebellion of 1856 pitted the three legged sociocialist dogs against the no-eyed, Republicanist cats with nothing left to lose. The resulting in-fighting led to over 100 years of disorder and civil strife until 2006, when Un.N. observed elections restored calm and a moderate government came to power granting representation to three and four leggeds alike.
At the end of April, 2006 the Spinners have arrived to an island tourism economy with full services, weak septic systems and toilets that ovberflow, but do so peacefully and with a good bit of respect. Beach, golf carts, sand, snorkling and coconut palms make up just some of the over 200 sights and sounds this historic isle has to offer. Good health, the posession of Belizean dollars and a willingness to swim have aided the Spinners in their transition from the solemn, frigid, freezy-ness of 50 degree Minnesota to the near tropical to beyond tropical ecology of Flea Blocker.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Hair-e Heads for Honduras
Brewman. Alas, our assistant editor Hair-e Guy is heading for the jungles of Honduras for an unknown period of time. He and his girl-friend Nice are off to great adventures and to put that hard-earned Spanish education to work.
Both will be missed for the following reasons. Hair-e shares the same mentality as Lost Bird, Nice is the greatest Aunt ever, both were a great addition to the United States and losing two open-minded citizens to Central AMerica really sucks. There will be no Master of Ceremonies during the "Solstice Celebrations".
Most of all their company will be missed greatly! The RAG Files wishes you both the best and hopes you'll make it back safe and sound. And by the way, Hair-e, Madeline's jealous that you're bringing Staphy with you and not her.
Both will be missed for the following reasons. Hair-e shares the same mentality as Lost Bird, Nice is the greatest Aunt ever, both were a great addition to the United States and losing two open-minded citizens to Central AMerica really sucks. There will be no Master of Ceremonies during the "Solstice Celebrations".
Most of all their company will be missed greatly! The RAG Files wishes you both the best and hopes you'll make it back safe and sound. And by the way, Hair-e, Madeline's jealous that you're bringing Staphy with you and not her.
