Saturday, March 04, 2006
Five Losers Elementary Turns Gulag
Faremount. As Sheriff Gephardt awaits his new Moon Valley Jail Annex, Faremount school district has opened up a new Gulag/Elementary School dubbed the Five Losers Elementary Correctional Facility.
Principal Daybedsin said the school was named after the five people in charge of the Gulag. "Our fine staff members here: Mr. Broom-bah, Mrs. deBoar, Mrs. Tremblesome, Mrs. Again, and myself. It's an inside joke, actually. We were all arguing over what to name the new school and the superintendant said that we 'five losers' better come up with something soon."
The change came in response to a growing number of "troublesome" children who were being disruptive by splashing water on the bathroom mirror. "After that, I knew it was all downhill!" cried Mr. Broom-bah.
"It's that Banana Spinner!" yelled Mrs. Again, "She was always causing problems in my classroom in 2nd grade. She...she...well, she wouldn't say I was pretty!!"
"It's true!" concurred Mrs. deBoar, "That Banana and her little freind Kenrah spilled milk in the lunch room and laughed about it! I mean, someone could have drowned!!"
The new policies will include imprisonment in the suspension room for 20 days with only water and crappy school lunch food. Suspiciously labeled "Fish Chunks".
Principal Daybedsin said the school was named after the five people in charge of the Gulag. "Our fine staff members here: Mr. Broom-bah, Mrs. deBoar, Mrs. Tremblesome, Mrs. Again, and myself. It's an inside joke, actually. We were all arguing over what to name the new school and the superintendant said that we 'five losers' better come up with something soon."
The change came in response to a growing number of "troublesome" children who were being disruptive by splashing water on the bathroom mirror. "After that, I knew it was all downhill!" cried Mr. Broom-bah.
"It's that Banana Spinner!" yelled Mrs. Again, "She was always causing problems in my classroom in 2nd grade. She...she...well, she wouldn't say I was pretty!!"
"It's true!" concurred Mrs. deBoar, "That Banana and her little freind Kenrah spilled milk in the lunch room and laughed about it! I mean, someone could have drowned!!"
The new policies will include imprisonment in the suspension room for 20 days with only water and crappy school lunch food. Suspiciously labeled "Fish Chunks".
