Saturday, November 05, 2005
She Said Yes
Daytona Beach, Fl. In theory, all it takes is a ring, a plane ticket, a bent knee and liquid courage. Okay thats quite a lot of things actually. But in practice, it takes even more. Case in point: Despite hell and highwater, RAG Files editor and hopless romantic Lost Bird found a way to get himself and his girlfriend to a safe place to pop the question.
As in, THE question.
This was no easy task because another woman who was was present, threw an angry tantrum that kept the couple out of Cancun and stalked them several thousand miles over open ocean to Daytona Beach. Yes Wilma--if the convenient if sexist connotations likening a hurricane to a jealous woman can be excused--decided to rear her ugly head and beat the stuffing out of Cancun just before the couple was scheduled to fly in. They were lucky they didn't, because those Americans who stayed after Wilma made landfall on the Yucatan paid for it. Wilma looked all over for Lost Bird, scouring every beach, bar, palapa and playa. When she couldn't find him she tore out her clouds and bore down on the jungle like a toxic avenger.
Instead, Mr. Lost Bird and Mrs. Sue Spinnaker shifted gears and headed down to Florida. The questioned was popped by Lost Bird from the vantage point of a single knee unaided by a knee pad. According to sources close to the couple, an affirmative answer was given by Ms. Spinner, soon to be Mrs. Spinner. Wilma finally caught up with the happy couple but by then the hurricane was getting tired and old and worn out and decided that it would be better to concentrate on Miami and the Keys.
This reporter wanted the straight dope on how it would turn out for the couple future tense-wise, so he asked Madeline Boxer to consult her fortune telling oracle Dead Baby Future Telling Pig. The oracle spoke at length but because it was dead and a baby pig its words were barely legible. Nevertheless the words "happy" and "castle" "smooching" and "ever after" were clearly audible. The happy couple even got a 10% discount off the usual fee for full oracular services.
This reporter offers his hearty congradulations, best wishes and good thoughts for the couple, the kids, the family and the fulfillment of all their needs and dreams.
As in, THE question.
This was no easy task because another woman who was was present, threw an angry tantrum that kept the couple out of Cancun and stalked them several thousand miles over open ocean to Daytona Beach. Yes Wilma--if the convenient if sexist connotations likening a hurricane to a jealous woman can be excused--decided to rear her ugly head and beat the stuffing out of Cancun just before the couple was scheduled to fly in. They were lucky they didn't, because those Americans who stayed after Wilma made landfall on the Yucatan paid for it. Wilma looked all over for Lost Bird, scouring every beach, bar, palapa and playa. When she couldn't find him she tore out her clouds and bore down on the jungle like a toxic avenger.
Instead, Mr. Lost Bird and Mrs. Sue Spinnaker shifted gears and headed down to Florida. The questioned was popped by Lost Bird from the vantage point of a single knee unaided by a knee pad. According to sources close to the couple, an affirmative answer was given by Ms. Spinner, soon to be Mrs. Spinner. Wilma finally caught up with the happy couple but by then the hurricane was getting tired and old and worn out and decided that it would be better to concentrate on Miami and the Keys.
This reporter wanted the straight dope on how it would turn out for the couple future tense-wise, so he asked Madeline Boxer to consult her fortune telling oracle Dead Baby Future Telling Pig. The oracle spoke at length but because it was dead and a baby pig its words were barely legible. Nevertheless the words "happy" and "castle" "smooching" and "ever after" were clearly audible. The happy couple even got a 10% discount off the usual fee for full oracular services.
This reporter offers his hearty congradulations, best wishes and good thoughts for the couple, the kids, the family and the fulfillment of all their needs and dreams.
