Saturday, November 05, 2005
Dumb and Dumber: RAG Files Announces Long Awaited Mayoral Endorsement For St. Paul Mayoral Race
St. Paul. The RAG Files officially endorses Chris Coleman for mayor of the city of St. Paul, Minnesota in the United States of America on the Western Hemisphere of the Planet Earth of the Milky Way Spiral Galaxey.
After careful study, the RAG Files has come to the following conclusions about the St. Paul mayoral race.
1. Elizabeth (fogot the last name) of the Green Party would have been an excellent candidate, had she survived the primary. This reporter voted his first primary election in the hopes of keeping her on the ballot and was disappointed that she didn't make it.
2. Chris Coleman and Randy Kelly are both Deomocrats. They are both chumps.
3. Chris Coleman and Randy Kelly are both chumps. Chris Coleman is rumored to be a big, angry idiot who spent his time as a city councilman talking about getting drunk, yawning, displaying boredom and generally being an asshole. Chris Coleman has done and said nothing tangible in support of his mayoral bid or done anything to deserve the position aside from maintaining a pulse. Frankly, he has nothing nothing aside from coasting on the peoples' ill will toward Kelly.
4. Kelly deserves our ill will. We voted for a democrat but got a Republican. Kelly has tried to downplay his public endorsement of President Bush and spin it as a "principled stand" but it was nothing more then naked political opportunism. He insulted the intelligence of the voters by implying their anger over the Bush endorsement was petty or vindictive, further snuffing out his slim chance of retaining his incumbency. Coleman may be a chump but Kelly is a bigger chump. Kelly even hired Karl Rove's marketing director to clean him up. If thats not a Republican, who is? He's also a chimp. Kelly has cultivated ill will with the people throughout his tenor as mayor and maintained a closed door with regard to his policy decisions, shutting out and inflaming the ire of the city council as well as the people.
5. Kelly is, above all else, an idiot. He banked on Bush because he thought Bush was a winner and he wanted to ride Bushes' coattails to his own victory. A recent poll shows that this tactic has not even brought any Republicans into his camp! His excuse at the time was that he saw a few John Kerry supporters sporting negative messages on bumper stickers. Kelly never claimed it had anything to do with the policies of one versus the other, just "negativity." This is the clearest sign of incompetancy the people have ever received from a Minnesota politician since the time Arlon Lindner called Buddhism a "cult." As everyone knows, Bush barely won, had no mandate and has lost influence with even his core supporters in less than a year since winning his second term. Anyone who chose to exercise just a little reasoning could have seen that the second term was when Bushes' chickens would come home to roost, and most did. Except for Randy.
6. Politicians routinely try to con St. Paul voters and they are routinely surprised when the people of St. Paul refuse to be led around like sheep. Norm Coleman found out in 1999 when he attempted his "grassroots" campaign to make us pay for a baseball stadium by a referendum that was voted down by a huge margin. Kelly is shocked that his endorsement of Bush even registered, let alone ended his political career. Guess what guys, the people of St. Paul aren't as stupid as you wish they were. Run for office in a Bible Belt state if you want better odds.
7. In the contest between two creeps, two chumps, two chimps, two jerks: Coleman is the lesser evil. Kelly didn't have the decency, the honor or the self respect to formally change parties. Kelly pretends to be a democrat, and this is a lie to the voters.
Its time for a change, even if its a step sideways rather than a step up. Vote Coleman this Tuesday.
After careful study, the RAG Files has come to the following conclusions about the St. Paul mayoral race.
1. Elizabeth (fogot the last name) of the Green Party would have been an excellent candidate, had she survived the primary. This reporter voted his first primary election in the hopes of keeping her on the ballot and was disappointed that she didn't make it.
2. Chris Coleman and Randy Kelly are both Deomocrats. They are both chumps.
3. Chris Coleman and Randy Kelly are both chumps. Chris Coleman is rumored to be a big, angry idiot who spent his time as a city councilman talking about getting drunk, yawning, displaying boredom and generally being an asshole. Chris Coleman has done and said nothing tangible in support of his mayoral bid or done anything to deserve the position aside from maintaining a pulse. Frankly, he has nothing nothing aside from coasting on the peoples' ill will toward Kelly.
4. Kelly deserves our ill will. We voted for a democrat but got a Republican. Kelly has tried to downplay his public endorsement of President Bush and spin it as a "principled stand" but it was nothing more then naked political opportunism. He insulted the intelligence of the voters by implying their anger over the Bush endorsement was petty or vindictive, further snuffing out his slim chance of retaining his incumbency. Coleman may be a chump but Kelly is a bigger chump. Kelly even hired Karl Rove's marketing director to clean him up. If thats not a Republican, who is? He's also a chimp. Kelly has cultivated ill will with the people throughout his tenor as mayor and maintained a closed door with regard to his policy decisions, shutting out and inflaming the ire of the city council as well as the people.
5. Kelly is, above all else, an idiot. He banked on Bush because he thought Bush was a winner and he wanted to ride Bushes' coattails to his own victory. A recent poll shows that this tactic has not even brought any Republicans into his camp! His excuse at the time was that he saw a few John Kerry supporters sporting negative messages on bumper stickers. Kelly never claimed it had anything to do with the policies of one versus the other, just "negativity." This is the clearest sign of incompetancy the people have ever received from a Minnesota politician since the time Arlon Lindner called Buddhism a "cult." As everyone knows, Bush barely won, had no mandate and has lost influence with even his core supporters in less than a year since winning his second term. Anyone who chose to exercise just a little reasoning could have seen that the second term was when Bushes' chickens would come home to roost, and most did. Except for Randy.
6. Politicians routinely try to con St. Paul voters and they are routinely surprised when the people of St. Paul refuse to be led around like sheep. Norm Coleman found out in 1999 when he attempted his "grassroots" campaign to make us pay for a baseball stadium by a referendum that was voted down by a huge margin. Kelly is shocked that his endorsement of Bush even registered, let alone ended his political career. Guess what guys, the people of St. Paul aren't as stupid as you wish they were. Run for office in a Bible Belt state if you want better odds.
7. In the contest between two creeps, two chumps, two chimps, two jerks: Coleman is the lesser evil. Kelly didn't have the decency, the honor or the self respect to formally change parties. Kelly pretends to be a democrat, and this is a lie to the voters.
Its time for a change, even if its a step sideways rather than a step up. Vote Coleman this Tuesday.
