Tuesday, October 11, 2005
7-year old Terrorist Weilds Knife in School
Ohmygod. An unidentified 7-year old boy spent the day suspended as a teacher had found...a butter knife in his backpack!
The weapon of mass destruction was found by his teacher in the morning and the teacher being a charter member of the local Freedom Corps, turned him into the principal. Action was quickly taken as the 7-year old drop kicked by the hall monitor constabulatory, 4-point restrained, and maced and then suspended for the entire day with the possibility of more days suspension and a week spent in Guanomo Bay detention center.
It was argued by the mother, that the 7-year old's little 4-year old brother had put the butter knife in the back pack and her eldest son had no idea that the knife was even in there.
"We are a 'ZERO TOLERANCE' school! We will not have these little hoodlums brandishing deadly weapons in our school grounds!" said the school principal.
When it was found that the butter knife had traces of grape jelly and Country Crock residue on the blade, the principal stated, "That has not been proven yet. We've sent the knife to the lab to be tested. Terrorist took over 747's with boxcutters, just imagine the damage a butter knife could do in our school. I shudder to think."
The weapon of mass destruction was found by his teacher in the morning and the teacher being a charter member of the local Freedom Corps, turned him into the principal. Action was quickly taken as the 7-year old drop kicked by the hall monitor constabulatory, 4-point restrained, and maced and then suspended for the entire day with the possibility of more days suspension and a week spent in Guanomo Bay detention center.
It was argued by the mother, that the 7-year old's little 4-year old brother had put the butter knife in the back pack and her eldest son had no idea that the knife was even in there.
"We are a 'ZERO TOLERANCE' school! We will not have these little hoodlums brandishing deadly weapons in our school grounds!" said the school principal.
When it was found that the butter knife had traces of grape jelly and Country Crock residue on the blade, the principal stated, "That has not been proven yet. We've sent the knife to the lab to be tested. Terrorist took over 747's with boxcutters, just imagine the damage a butter knife could do in our school. I shudder to think."
