Tuesday, October 11, 2005
7-year old Terrorist Weilds Knife in School
Ohmygod. An unidentified 7-year old boy spent the day suspended as a teacher had found...a butter knife in his backpack!
The weapon of mass destruction was found by his teacher in the morning and the teacher being a charter member of the local Freedom Corps, turned him into the principal. Action was quickly taken as the 7-year old drop kicked by the hall monitor constabulatory, 4-point restrained, and maced and then suspended for the entire day with the possibility of more days suspension and a week spent in Guanomo Bay detention center.
It was argued by the mother, that the 7-year old's little 4-year old brother had put the butter knife in the back pack and her eldest son had no idea that the knife was even in there.
"We are a 'ZERO TOLERANCE' school! We will not have these little hoodlums brandishing deadly weapons in our school grounds!" said the school principal.
When it was found that the butter knife had traces of grape jelly and Country Crock residue on the blade, the principal stated, "That has not been proven yet. We've sent the knife to the lab to be tested. Terrorist took over 747's with boxcutters, just imagine the damage a butter knife could do in our school. I shudder to think."
The weapon of mass destruction was found by his teacher in the morning and the teacher being a charter member of the local Freedom Corps, turned him into the principal. Action was quickly taken as the 7-year old drop kicked by the hall monitor constabulatory, 4-point restrained, and maced and then suspended for the entire day with the possibility of more days suspension and a week spent in Guanomo Bay detention center.
It was argued by the mother, that the 7-year old's little 4-year old brother had put the butter knife in the back pack and her eldest son had no idea that the knife was even in there.
"We are a 'ZERO TOLERANCE' school! We will not have these little hoodlums brandishing deadly weapons in our school grounds!" said the school principal.
When it was found that the butter knife had traces of grape jelly and Country Crock residue on the blade, the principal stated, "That has not been proven yet. We've sent the knife to the lab to be tested. Terrorist took over 747's with boxcutters, just imagine the damage a butter knife could do in our school. I shudder to think."
Monday, October 10, 2005
Po Po Punching Contest
N'awlins. In the aftermath of one of the most devastating natural disasters in the history of the United States, the New Orleans police decide to take out their frustration and anger on one of their captors.
A 67 year old drunk bastard decided it was a good idea to resist arrest in the French Quarter and take a pop shot at one of the Federal Officers that are assisting the NOPD. Where did this man go wrong? For one, don't take shots at a police force that is known as the most corrupt PD in the United States. Two, especially after what this department has been through. Three, Mardi gras is not for another few months yet.
Where did the police go wrong? For one, hey, everyone's entitled to a little anger management after what they've been through, plus its in your job description. Two, do you really need to punch a 67 year old man 4 plus times in the head before and after he's apprehended? Three, don't try to take out the press, because you've pretty much fucked yourself from that point on. What, did you think the press was going to say "Oh, sorry you're right, I'll just pretend this little incident ever happened." C'mon, look at the day and age we're in!
At any rate, the officers pleaded not guilty and they are suspended without pay, which doesn't really mean much seeing as the NOPD is barely paid to begin with. They are the lowest paid PD's in the US. NOPD officers use food stamps to buy food if that's any indication.
A 67 year old drunk bastard decided it was a good idea to resist arrest in the French Quarter and take a pop shot at one of the Federal Officers that are assisting the NOPD. Where did this man go wrong? For one, don't take shots at a police force that is known as the most corrupt PD in the United States. Two, especially after what this department has been through. Three, Mardi gras is not for another few months yet.
Where did the police go wrong? For one, hey, everyone's entitled to a little anger management after what they've been through, plus its in your job description. Two, do you really need to punch a 67 year old man 4 plus times in the head before and after he's apprehended? Three, don't try to take out the press, because you've pretty much fucked yourself from that point on. What, did you think the press was going to say "Oh, sorry you're right, I'll just pretend this little incident ever happened." C'mon, look at the day and age we're in!
At any rate, the officers pleaded not guilty and they are suspended without pay, which doesn't really mean much seeing as the NOPD is barely paid to begin with. They are the lowest paid PD's in the US. NOPD officers use food stamps to buy food if that's any indication.
