Tuesday, August 16, 2005
When Hair-e Guys Attack
Toffee. Just north of Toffee, MN, is part of the great expanse of forests, lakes, bogs and rivers known to the die-hard campers as the Borderline Waters Canoe Area. It was in this area that a harmless Brown bear was attacked by Hair-e Guy, roving reporter for the R.A.G.
While camping at base camp, Mr. Bear had found himself behind a blue pick-up truck belonging to one Hair-e Guy. The aroma of French Toast ingredients wafted from the bed of the truck.
"Whattami gonna do, hah?" explained the bear, "I mean, they's teasing us bears with this stuff labeled 'people food' and they flaunt it in front of us primal types. Tell me what you'd do, lessee, berries and pine cones or bread and eggs? I mean c'mon!"
Mr. Bear decided to take out the back window of the truck topper and helped himself to the nourishment in the back. Just then, Hair-e comes out of the tent and starts screaching at the top of his lungs.
"Dis guy looks like some Al Queda freak!" continued Mr. Bear, "He's jumpin around yelling obscenities at me. So I gave him the stare down."
"I really should have paid attention to Lost Bird during his Violence Training Camp," stated the flustered Hair-e Guy, "I kept trying to think of the song he told me to think of whenever the situation arose, but all I could think of was William Hung's Livin' LaVida Loca. If it wasn't for Nice Spinner having my back and the threat of me giving the bear a staph infection, I'd be bear chow now."
While camping at base camp, Mr. Bear had found himself behind a blue pick-up truck belonging to one Hair-e Guy. The aroma of French Toast ingredients wafted from the bed of the truck.
"Whattami gonna do, hah?" explained the bear, "I mean, they's teasing us bears with this stuff labeled 'people food' and they flaunt it in front of us primal types. Tell me what you'd do, lessee, berries and pine cones or bread and eggs? I mean c'mon!"
Mr. Bear decided to take out the back window of the truck topper and helped himself to the nourishment in the back. Just then, Hair-e comes out of the tent and starts screaching at the top of his lungs.
"Dis guy looks like some Al Queda freak!" continued Mr. Bear, "He's jumpin around yelling obscenities at me. So I gave him the stare down."
"I really should have paid attention to Lost Bird during his Violence Training Camp," stated the flustered Hair-e Guy, "I kept trying to think of the song he told me to think of whenever the situation arose, but all I could think of was William Hung's Livin' LaVida Loca. If it wasn't for Nice Spinner having my back and the threat of me giving the bear a staph infection, I'd be bear chow now."
