Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Spamster Named New Human Services Big Cheese
Rearmount. Spamster Spinner previously known for her hair coloring fame has recently been awarded one of the top jobs at the Martina County Human Services department, where she has worked for the previous 15 years as an in-the-trenches social worker. Her qualifications included outstanding test scores, superior leadership which she has provided to her colleagues over the years, an ability to multi-task, and an essay she wrote as part of the job search process entitled: How My Hairy, Obnoxious and Virtually Unlovable Mentally Challenged Fake Son-In-Law Has Tested the Limits of My Sanity.
Over the previous 15 years she overcame public speaking anxiety in order to lead and educate her colleagues and other members of the community. She also performed less glamorous tasks, becoming familiar with the insides of garbages houses. Now she will soon become familiar with the internal workings of a budget that impacts the lives of hundreds if not thousands of Martina County taxpayers and residents. Though a daunting task, the R.A.G. Files feels assured that the Spamster has ample talents and resources she can call upon to fulfill her new mandate. "Meow sure she can," affimed Shaggy, a fluffy cat who lives with the Spamster. "Meow too,"said Marley Zen Farm Kitty. "Yeah, meow too," said Old Bendy, a boxer who is not a cat.
"Her qualifications are absolutely outstanding," said her boss, William Bigwig. "But it was the essay that put her over the top as the candidate of choice. When she talks about her fake son-in-law, the hyperactivity, loud noises, neediness, foul langauge and foul odors, I really feel for her. Its a good thing that guy only visits once a month or so."
Old Bendy, an adopted boxer who belongs to the Spamster was excited about her mama's promotion. "Maybe she'll be able to buy more skunks for me," mused Bendy, her salt n' pepper flaps getting all drooly and gross as she pondered the possibility. Spamster's other needy pet, Marley Zen Farm Kitty, had other ideas: "Meow double meow kitty chow ration," he said in response, patting his pauchy belly and whining.
The R.A.G. files congradulates the Spamster for her well earned promotion and beathes a sigh of reflief that the leadership she provides to the Human Services Department will have a positive effect on the community for years to come. Keep up the good work Spamster.
Over the previous 15 years she overcame public speaking anxiety in order to lead and educate her colleagues and other members of the community. She also performed less glamorous tasks, becoming familiar with the insides of garbages houses. Now she will soon become familiar with the internal workings of a budget that impacts the lives of hundreds if not thousands of Martina County taxpayers and residents. Though a daunting task, the R.A.G. Files feels assured that the Spamster has ample talents and resources she can call upon to fulfill her new mandate. "Meow sure she can," affimed Shaggy, a fluffy cat who lives with the Spamster. "Meow too,"said Marley Zen Farm Kitty. "Yeah, meow too," said Old Bendy, a boxer who is not a cat.
"Her qualifications are absolutely outstanding," said her boss, William Bigwig. "But it was the essay that put her over the top as the candidate of choice. When she talks about her fake son-in-law, the hyperactivity, loud noises, neediness, foul langauge and foul odors, I really feel for her. Its a good thing that guy only visits once a month or so."
Old Bendy, an adopted boxer who belongs to the Spamster was excited about her mama's promotion. "Maybe she'll be able to buy more skunks for me," mused Bendy, her salt n' pepper flaps getting all drooly and gross as she pondered the possibility. Spamster's other needy pet, Marley Zen Farm Kitty, had other ideas: "Meow double meow kitty chow ration," he said in response, patting his pauchy belly and whining.
The R.A.G. files congradulates the Spamster for her well earned promotion and beathes a sigh of reflief that the leadership she provides to the Human Services Department will have a positive effect on the community for years to come. Keep up the good work Spamster.
