Tuesday, June 07, 2005
No Hope for Dope
Washington, D.C. In a landslide vote by overpaid legislation, marajuana is considered non-medicinal and cannot be prescribed by doctors in the United States. Anyone caught doing so will be imprisoned or fined, depending on the offender's financial and social status. (c'mon you all know how that works).
Protests against the measure have already begun across the country. At every state house, oceans of tie-dyed beaded hippies stand outside singing Greatful Dead songs and holding signs. Mostly say "Hooray for our side". Young people are speaking their minds. They're getting so much resistance from behind.
State representative Wally Titass said to the masses, "Stop, children! What's all this noise? Everybody look what's going on!"
"I'll kill every Republican I can find if I can't have my medicinal marajuana!" cried out one of the protesters, proving that obviously, marajuana has no addictive side-effects.
Faremount. Resting in his laurels as the spearhead of "Meth Legislation", Sheriff Vlad Gephardt proudly displays his plaque from GuvNah Plenty for helping implement the Meth Bill.
"Well, I had some help from State Representative Bubba Goonter and Droolie Frosen." Gephardt admits, "But it mostly my perserverance, and intiative that got this done!"
The bill outlaws any use of cold medicine, ant-acids, green tea and parmasan cheese.
"Everyone knows that those tweakin tweak heads use all those things to make meth! I'm putting a stop to it! People like myself, the righteous, if you will; don't get colds, ulcers, or have a need to taint the taste of pizza or spaghetti!"
Gephardt has taken a step up in his approach by making his deputies wear brown with their arm patches on an armband with matching brown cars. The Moon Valley Gestapo will be patrolling the streets 24-7 now, ridding the filth off the streets of Moon Valley County.
Protests against the measure have already begun across the country. At every state house, oceans of tie-dyed beaded hippies stand outside singing Greatful Dead songs and holding signs. Mostly say "Hooray for our side". Young people are speaking their minds. They're getting so much resistance from behind.
State representative Wally Titass said to the masses, "Stop, children! What's all this noise? Everybody look what's going on!"
"I'll kill every Republican I can find if I can't have my medicinal marajuana!" cried out one of the protesters, proving that obviously, marajuana has no addictive side-effects.
Faremount. Resting in his laurels as the spearhead of "Meth Legislation", Sheriff Vlad Gephardt proudly displays his plaque from GuvNah Plenty for helping implement the Meth Bill.
"Well, I had some help from State Representative Bubba Goonter and Droolie Frosen." Gephardt admits, "But it mostly my perserverance, and intiative that got this done!"
The bill outlaws any use of cold medicine, ant-acids, green tea and parmasan cheese.
"Everyone knows that those tweakin tweak heads use all those things to make meth! I'm putting a stop to it! People like myself, the righteous, if you will; don't get colds, ulcers, or have a need to taint the taste of pizza or spaghetti!"
Gephardt has taken a step up in his approach by making his deputies wear brown with their arm patches on an armband with matching brown cars. The Moon Valley Gestapo will be patrolling the streets 24-7 now, ridding the filth off the streets of Moon Valley County.
