The R.A.G. Files

Midwest. It was reported recently two women in Minnesota and Wisconsin were turned away by pharmacists when they sought to have prescriptions for birth control filled. According to the views of the rational, intelligent fundamentalist pharmacists, pregnancy begins at the moment of conception, the moment the egg is fertilized and thus any form of birth control that destroys the fertilized egg constitutes “abortion.” This view contradicts the standard definition of pregnancy established by western medical science, which asserts that a fertilized egg must attach itself to the wall of a woman’s uterus before pregnancy can be declared. Therefore a fertilized egg that is averted from attaching itself to the uterine wall by means of artificial, chemical means is considered contraception, not abortion by the standards and practices of western medical science.

For now the fundamentalist definition of "life" is fertilization. This definition does not go nearly far enough in upholding biblical law over scientific truth. Life begins in the split second that one person looks at another person of the opposite sex with lust in their heart, and Jesus knows it!


This is why a heroic group called Pharmacists For Life is denouncing communists everywhere and fighting for laws that protect the sacred menses of ovulating women (SMOOW). See, every time a woman has her menses, she is cruelly aborting an egg that Jesus put there to become LIFE. Every time a man spills his seed wantonly, he is guilty of genocide against man-seed. Pharmacists For Life wants the death penalty imposed on any who waste eggs or spill man-seeds and they want the government to impose a 30 year prison term on heathens who accidently spill their man-seed during a nocturnal emission. Such accidents are the result of a reckless, lust filled imagination that can be avoided with the correct amount of self-imposed discipline and loving punishment!

It is surprising that Lord Baby Jesus has not smitten down any who hath spilled thou man-seeds or thou menstrual eggs, but the fact that He hath not is a sign that He hath empowereth others to do so.

Ovulation is Life and man-seed is Life, and those who forsake the incredible living egg are those who hate life and Immaculate Tender Ever Loving Baby Jesus. It is the biblical law that sayeth: "thou shalt eat fruits and learneth multiplications." Praise God!

He also sayeth, "forget Me not, for I am the King of thy Man-Seeds and and the Master of Eggs." Praise God!

"He who hath spilt his seed upon My kingdom shall become the sod beneath the serpent's turf," Can I get an a-men-ah?

"That seed which hast been split during dreams of the night, shall ariseth from the sheets to annoy the spiller of the seed with cursed ramblings and fearful lamentations." Let Him be prrrraised-ah!

"Those eggs which go thither from thine Egg Places only to break upon the Earth will form a Court Of Justice and Judge the Egg Holder on the Appointed Day of Judgement." Halelluja He is Risen-ah!

"On the last day, let the man-seed judge the man and let the eggs judge the egg holder and let the millions vent their seedy or eggish rage upon them that cast out their seed or egg like the just cast out by the wicked or the orphan who is given away or the beggar who is booted out or the entertainer who is eighty sixed. " Booya!

Only once the Earth is entirely peopled with unwanted children, only once every married couple hath made dozens of children will God's will be fully fufilled.


Down with science! Prrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaise Jay-zus!