Monday, May 23, 2005
Jesus Takes on The Dubya Dubya EE
Burntville. Centered in the midst of pews and altars sat a ring, hundreds of salivating red-neck wrestling fans waiting for the death blow from The Angel to Brutus "The Bible" Beetcake. Then, from above, Ted "The Thousand Dollar Man" DeBois, swung down dressed like Jesus and began preaching the gospel.
The fans, looking like deer in headlights, sat there slack-jawed and drooling. Most of the reaction can be summed up in one word, "Duhhhhh-rrrrrr?"
In an attempt to lure fans of rabid violence to Jesus, the Dubya Dubya EE (formerly the Dubya Dubya Eff, has gone on a worldwide campaign to bring avid wrestling fans to the light.
"It's not that easy." says the new Rev. DeBois, "We've revved these people into craving violence, and all the soap opera drama during the Dubya Dubya EE's regular matches on television. Now we're trying to bring a message to all these people."
DeBois story starts out like every "VH 1 Behind the Music" story we've all heard. He got famous on the wrestling circuit, got rich, started to abuse chemicals, slept around on his wife, got busted, started losing money, blah, blah blah, found Jesus, and is now pushing it on other people.
"I'd like to talk more on this, but I've got a bra and panties match to announce..." DeBois went into the ring to announce the bra and panties match where two muscular hot women wrestle in their bra and panties, the winner must remove each article of clothing from their opponent. Once again, before there was an all-out battle when Girty lil Tramp was about to take her opponent while wearing nothing but her panties and a thick layer of baby oil, DeBois came down from the rafters like Jesus again, preaching about sin, and then lil Tramp locked a head scissors on him while her opponent, Busty Britches smothered him with her endowments. DeBois cried out, "Help me, Jesus! Help me!"
One spectator replied, "I'm confused, I don't know whether to fornicate with myself or pray??"
Originally starting out as the Ay Dubya Ay, then Dubya Dubya Eff, then a branch called the Ex Ef El (an extreme football legue that failed), now the company is called the Dubya Dubya Ee, and this new branch of the organization is called the Dubya Dubya Jay Dee (or the WWJD).
The fans, looking like deer in headlights, sat there slack-jawed and drooling. Most of the reaction can be summed up in one word, "Duhhhhh-rrrrrr?"
In an attempt to lure fans of rabid violence to Jesus, the Dubya Dubya EE (formerly the Dubya Dubya Eff, has gone on a worldwide campaign to bring avid wrestling fans to the light.
"It's not that easy." says the new Rev. DeBois, "We've revved these people into craving violence, and all the soap opera drama during the Dubya Dubya EE's regular matches on television. Now we're trying to bring a message to all these people."
DeBois story starts out like every "VH 1 Behind the Music" story we've all heard. He got famous on the wrestling circuit, got rich, started to abuse chemicals, slept around on his wife, got busted, started losing money, blah, blah blah, found Jesus, and is now pushing it on other people.
"I'd like to talk more on this, but I've got a bra and panties match to announce..." DeBois went into the ring to announce the bra and panties match where two muscular hot women wrestle in their bra and panties, the winner must remove each article of clothing from their opponent. Once again, before there was an all-out battle when Girty lil Tramp was about to take her opponent while wearing nothing but her panties and a thick layer of baby oil, DeBois came down from the rafters like Jesus again, preaching about sin, and then lil Tramp locked a head scissors on him while her opponent, Busty Britches smothered him with her endowments. DeBois cried out, "Help me, Jesus! Help me!"
One spectator replied, "I'm confused, I don't know whether to fornicate with myself or pray??"
Originally starting out as the Ay Dubya Ay, then Dubya Dubya Eff, then a branch called the Ex Ef El (an extreme football legue that failed), now the company is called the Dubya Dubya Ee, and this new branch of the organization is called the Dubya Dubya Jay Dee (or the WWJD).
