Monday, April 04, 2005
Prayer Not Working
Rome. Catholics and Christians everywhere are wondering just what the hell is going on.
In a huge media attempt, the entire Christian and Catholic community prayed to keep Terry Schiavo alive. It didn't work. Then, in one last deperate attempt, they all turned their efforts towards the Pope.
Sadly, the Pope expired in his apartment on Saturday evening. The crowd in front of St. Peters square looked up to the heavens and were like, "What the...?"
Some report that, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." the old cliche when something you pray for doesn't happen.
Others say, "I ain't prayin' for no Pope to live! Them heathen Catholics wuz! Us Looterns don't worship no Pope! Hell, we done wanted him gone anyhoo!"
The otherside of the coin, "It was those bloody protestants! Always prayin for us Catholics to go to hell! We're the original church! Not them! They prayed to their Mary-less god and did this!"
Muslims stated, "If dah Pope would have followed Allah, den none of dis would've happened. Look at Osama, he prays to Allah daily, and he is still alive."
There were also statements made blaming the devil, "I don't know why our prayers haven't worked, I think it has to do with Satan. He's killing us all little by little, seducing us in the ways of the world, seducing us...making us touch ourselves...making us want things carnal and primeval...oooh....making us want....WANTING....WANTING....always WANTING!!!"
At any case, it seems that prayer is not working. Of course, if they did work, the world would be full of Angelina Jolie look-alikes, that wanted nothing more than to date half-maori half-irish men in their mid-30's. And that...is just plain silly.
In a huge media attempt, the entire Christian and Catholic community prayed to keep Terry Schiavo alive. It didn't work. Then, in one last deperate attempt, they all turned their efforts towards the Pope.
Sadly, the Pope expired in his apartment on Saturday evening. The crowd in front of St. Peters square looked up to the heavens and were like, "What the...?"
Some report that, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." the old cliche when something you pray for doesn't happen.
Others say, "I ain't prayin' for no Pope to live! Them heathen Catholics wuz! Us Looterns don't worship no Pope! Hell, we done wanted him gone anyhoo!"
The otherside of the coin, "It was those bloody protestants! Always prayin for us Catholics to go to hell! We're the original church! Not them! They prayed to their Mary-less god and did this!"
Muslims stated, "If dah Pope would have followed Allah, den none of dis would've happened. Look at Osama, he prays to Allah daily, and he is still alive."
There were also statements made blaming the devil, "I don't know why our prayers haven't worked, I think it has to do with Satan. He's killing us all little by little, seducing us in the ways of the world, seducing us...making us touch ourselves...making us want things carnal and primeval...oooh....making us want....WANTING....WANTING....always WANTING!!!"
At any case, it seems that prayer is not working. Of course, if they did work, the world would be full of Angelina Jolie look-alikes, that wanted nothing more than to date half-maori half-irish men in their mid-30's. And that...is just plain silly.
