Friday, March 04, 2005
"So What" Files
West Virginia. Hey, Martha Stewart is now out of prison. Early. She was to be released on Sunday the 5th of March, but because she's a celebrity and people like you and I don't count, she's out. She will be placed on House Arrest. Hell, her estate is so huge who cares if she can never leave?
Santa Barbera. Hey, Michael Jackson's child molestation case continues. The accused child rapist has been wearing an illegal medal on his jacket. According to Austrian officials, he has been wearing a medal of valor that is illegal to wear in Austria if you haven't earned it. He could face a $917 fine. Yeh, like a celebrity would ever get charged with that! And by the way, never let your child stay with a 30 something year old freak who talkd like a girl, has a chimp named Bubbles, and keeps changing his appearance! Duh!
New York. Yeh, J. Lo is married to what's his name. SO what? Yeh, her butt is huge. So what?
Yeh, they will probably divorce by this time next year. Why do you care?
Fiji. Hey, Mel Gibson bought a Fijian island. Glad to see that he's spending his cash the way Christ would want him to. The islanders are in an uproar about it as they said their ancestors were kicked off the island. How about this, tell your ancestors to quit selling their land off to the Japanese.
People, they're celebrities. That's it. Regular people like you and me that are famous because they have a talent. Like some have a talent for welding, or customer service, stop worshipping these people. They are not newsworthy. So stop supporting gossip mags and tell CNN that they need to cover stories that happen in our world, stuff we care about.
Santa Barbera. Hey, Michael Jackson's child molestation case continues. The accused child rapist has been wearing an illegal medal on his jacket. According to Austrian officials, he has been wearing a medal of valor that is illegal to wear in Austria if you haven't earned it. He could face a $917 fine. Yeh, like a celebrity would ever get charged with that! And by the way, never let your child stay with a 30 something year old freak who talkd like a girl, has a chimp named Bubbles, and keeps changing his appearance! Duh!
New York. Yeh, J. Lo is married to what's his name. SO what? Yeh, her butt is huge. So what?
Yeh, they will probably divorce by this time next year. Why do you care?
Fiji. Hey, Mel Gibson bought a Fijian island. Glad to see that he's spending his cash the way Christ would want him to. The islanders are in an uproar about it as they said their ancestors were kicked off the island. How about this, tell your ancestors to quit selling their land off to the Japanese.
People, they're celebrities. That's it. Regular people like you and me that are famous because they have a talent. Like some have a talent for welding, or customer service, stop worshipping these people. They are not newsworthy. So stop supporting gossip mags and tell CNN that they need to cover stories that happen in our world, stuff we care about.
