Thursday, March 17, 2005
The New Math Hits Faremount Schools
Faremount. The New Math cirriculim is being pioneered by the local elementary school. The school board felt that it's students weren't walking around in mass confusion enough so to bring those numbers up, they've instituted the new math.
The program consists of solving multiplication problems using not one, not two, but three different ways. The first formula consists of the "old school" way, the second is called the partial problem method breaking down the numbers and multiplying them separately, and the third is using the lattice method which uses a box broken down into several parts to multiply and then add the results.
"The children seem to be taking to this 'New Math' well." stated Mrs. Eekann, a Fine Lakes Elementary third grade teacher. "Already their self-esteem seems to be falling as well as their attention span. Also, this stops the children's parents from helping them complete their homework correctly. It's funny to watch their faces when they're frusterated. Just the other day I used the 'New Spelling' on one of my students. She spelled cereal, c-e-r-e-i-l, I turned around and corrected it by spelling it c-e-r-e-i-n. (laughs and snorts) Oh God you shoulda been there."
One child, ran from her classroom clamping her head screaming, "My brain hurts!!!!!"
The program was started a while back. First by extending kindergarten to a full 7 hours, then by requiring parents to buy unneeded school supplies, then by requiring students to carry twice their body weight in books, and starting them on homework by second grade. Now with the "New Math", generating low self esteem, stress and depression amongst the school children, the school system believes they can then mold the children in their own image by Middle School.
"We're nippin' this in the bud!" stated school board member Ronnie Cleaver.
The program consists of solving multiplication problems using not one, not two, but three different ways. The first formula consists of the "old school" way, the second is called the partial problem method breaking down the numbers and multiplying them separately, and the third is using the lattice method which uses a box broken down into several parts to multiply and then add the results.
"The children seem to be taking to this 'New Math' well." stated Mrs. Eekann, a Fine Lakes Elementary third grade teacher. "Already their self-esteem seems to be falling as well as their attention span. Also, this stops the children's parents from helping them complete their homework correctly. It's funny to watch their faces when they're frusterated. Just the other day I used the 'New Spelling' on one of my students. She spelled cereal, c-e-r-e-i-l, I turned around and corrected it by spelling it c-e-r-e-i-n. (laughs and snorts) Oh God you shoulda been there."
One child, ran from her classroom clamping her head screaming, "My brain hurts!!!!!"
The program was started a while back. First by extending kindergarten to a full 7 hours, then by requiring parents to buy unneeded school supplies, then by requiring students to carry twice their body weight in books, and starting them on homework by second grade. Now with the "New Math", generating low self esteem, stress and depression amongst the school children, the school system believes they can then mold the children in their own image by Middle School.
"We're nippin' this in the bud!" stated school board member Ronnie Cleaver.
