Monday, March 21, 2005
Mystery Poet Strikes
Faremount. An unidentified waitress at Shenanagain's bar quietly cleaned the tables after closing when to her dismay, she picks up two empty packs of Basic Light cigarettes. There enscribed on the packages, written in blue ink, were lines of poetry.
The packages were bagged up by the Faremount Police Department for evidence. The waitress was treated for shock and is now in therapy with Dr. Sweetass.
In a statement given by Faremount police chief Kent Booyah, "We do not have any leads yet as to who wrote the poetry, the B.C.A. has been called to do some fingerpr..."
Just then Sheriff Gephardt knocked over the chief and took the mic, "This is now a Moon Valley county issue, I have decided it best as this kind of incident could spread countywide. I will not stand for any sort of drug culture hippie drivel in this county. I won't have it! I won't I tell you!"
The owner of Shenanagain's stated that he wasn't sure how this would affect his business. "Most of my patrons have the I.Q. of a bowling ball, I can't afford this kind of loss if culture seeking individuals come in. Hell, I'll have to change the music selection on the Jute-box from country to rock n roll with some intellect."
Coincidentally, any songs from The Doors, Pink Floyd, Metallica, or Nirvana have been banned from Shenanagain's due to their thought provoking lyrics. The sign above their door states, "No thinking, only drinking".
The packages were bagged up by the Faremount Police Department for evidence. The waitress was treated for shock and is now in therapy with Dr. Sweetass.
In a statement given by Faremount police chief Kent Booyah, "We do not have any leads yet as to who wrote the poetry, the B.C.A. has been called to do some fingerpr..."
Just then Sheriff Gephardt knocked over the chief and took the mic, "This is now a Moon Valley county issue, I have decided it best as this kind of incident could spread countywide. I will not stand for any sort of drug culture hippie drivel in this county. I won't have it! I won't I tell you!"
The owner of Shenanagain's stated that he wasn't sure how this would affect his business. "Most of my patrons have the I.Q. of a bowling ball, I can't afford this kind of loss if culture seeking individuals come in. Hell, I'll have to change the music selection on the Jute-box from country to rock n roll with some intellect."
Coincidentally, any songs from The Doors, Pink Floyd, Metallica, or Nirvana have been banned from Shenanagain's due to their thought provoking lyrics. The sign above their door states, "No thinking, only drinking".
