Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Hearing Aid Factory Cheats Deaf
Sodom Prairie. Starchy Laboratories, the world's leading hearing aid manufacturer, has made it's way in the universe of the hearing impaired by the use of magic.
Take their "Anti-moisture coat". The reason most hearing aids fail, is due to sweat in the ear canal seeping into the circuits and shorting them out. The anti-moisture coating is added to insure the prevention of this. When asked to demonstrate this amazing process, a technician put the hearing instrument in front of him, called upon the gods of all that hear, and snapped his fingers and waved them over the hearing aid. "There," he claimed. "It's done." This reporter said "What the hell was that?" in which he replied, "It's magic."
Starchy Labs engineering/finance department has also come up with an option for those of it's clients that suffer from plastic allergies. The hypo-allergenic coating which they apply is in reality, clear nail polish.
The anti-moisture coating is priced to hearing aid dealers at $56.13, they in turn charge grandma and grandpa $150.13. The hypo-allergenic coating is marketed at $15.03, and sold to grammy and poppy at $27.10.
Also, Starchy has opened up it's "Black Ops" division in their All-Make division. They basically strip old circuit boards and re-use them, selling the used parts as new.
"It's a financially secure wheel, that turns ever so fast." claimed Starchy Labs president, Phil Dallas.
Starchy Labs has used it's capital to purchase other struggling hearing aid repair businesses and has opened up factories worldwide.
Take their "Anti-moisture coat". The reason most hearing aids fail, is due to sweat in the ear canal seeping into the circuits and shorting them out. The anti-moisture coating is added to insure the prevention of this. When asked to demonstrate this amazing process, a technician put the hearing instrument in front of him, called upon the gods of all that hear, and snapped his fingers and waved them over the hearing aid. "There," he claimed. "It's done." This reporter said "What the hell was that?" in which he replied, "It's magic."
Starchy Labs engineering/finance department has also come up with an option for those of it's clients that suffer from plastic allergies. The hypo-allergenic coating which they apply is in reality, clear nail polish.
The anti-moisture coating is priced to hearing aid dealers at $56.13, they in turn charge grandma and grandpa $150.13. The hypo-allergenic coating is marketed at $15.03, and sold to grammy and poppy at $27.10.
Also, Starchy has opened up it's "Black Ops" division in their All-Make division. They basically strip old circuit boards and re-use them, selling the used parts as new.
"It's a financially secure wheel, that turns ever so fast." claimed Starchy Labs president, Phil Dallas.
Starchy Labs has used it's capital to purchase other struggling hearing aid repair businesses and has opened up factories worldwide.
