Wednesday, March 09, 2005
BENDY BOXER VIOLATES PROBATION BY CHOWING DOWN ON RAUNCHY EXPURGATED STOMACH CONTENTS
Brewman. Madeline Mrs. Bencdy Dog was recently cited for violating her probation by lapping up the virus ridden stomach contents of an ill reporter who visited her while researching an article titled "Life On Stink Row, How One Boxer Had It All But Lost Everything To Porcine Addiction." This article was a followup to his gritty, groundbreaking undercover Pulitzer nominated piece: "You're Gonna Have To Face It You're Addicted To Dead Baby Pigs." While the reporter was weakened and ill, the boxer reportedly nudged the reported and asked,
"Hey, um, are you, uh, done with that? Looks like puddin' and I loooooooooove puddin'!" At that point, the boxer nudged the reporter out of the way and consumed his expurgated stomach contents before the boxer could be physically restrained. "Oh boy" said Madeline as she was led away, "it was still warm! Thanks a lot, you're my sickly buddyfriend."
The reporter tried to conceal the identity of the boxer, in order to protect his sources, but Madeline insisted she had done nothing wrong. "I was just following my bliss, man. I am the bendy king and can do anything. Yeeeeeeah!"
At that point, a Zen Farm Kitty wearing wraparound shades intervened to back up the boxer. "Meow comment at this time please," said the kitty, holding up one paw and kneading the air trippily. "Meow Bendy need some space meow'kay?" When asked what his relationship is to Madeline, the kitty replied, "meow publicist and meow public meow relations. Meow'alright meow, meow more questions at meow time."
The kitty, identified as Marley Zen Farm Kitty is facing charges related to the incident in which Madeline is on parole. If Mrs. Bendy is charged with a parole violation, she could receive a light swat on the bum, followed by an admonition such as, "God! That is nasty! Eeeeeeewwwww! Get out of here you raunchy dog!" Or no action could be taken at all.
"Hey, um, are you, uh, done with that? Looks like puddin' and I loooooooooove puddin'!" At that point, the boxer nudged the reporter out of the way and consumed his expurgated stomach contents before the boxer could be physically restrained. "Oh boy" said Madeline as she was led away, "it was still warm! Thanks a lot, you're my sickly buddyfriend."
The reporter tried to conceal the identity of the boxer, in order to protect his sources, but Madeline insisted she had done nothing wrong. "I was just following my bliss, man. I am the bendy king and can do anything. Yeeeeeeah!"
At that point, a Zen Farm Kitty wearing wraparound shades intervened to back up the boxer. "Meow comment at this time please," said the kitty, holding up one paw and kneading the air trippily. "Meow Bendy need some space meow'kay?" When asked what his relationship is to Madeline, the kitty replied, "meow publicist and meow public meow relations. Meow'alright meow, meow more questions at meow time."
The kitty, identified as Marley Zen Farm Kitty is facing charges related to the incident in which Madeline is on parole. If Mrs. Bendy is charged with a parole violation, she could receive a light swat on the bum, followed by an admonition such as, "God! That is nasty! Eeeeeeewwwww! Get out of here you raunchy dog!" Or no action could be taken at all.
