Friday, February 25, 2005
MVW Phy-Ed Teacher Blamed for Being a Man
Sherburt. Moon Valley West high school physical education teacher and coach, Gus Brunty, was accused of lewd acts towards a student.
The accusations stated that Mr. Brunty stole clothing from one of his students while he showered, and has been harassing said student. The student, has been removed from the school district and is currently enrolled at nearby Jaxon school.
In his defense, Mr. Brunty stated, "The kid wasn't a true athlete, kids like him used to get teased all the time when I was going to school! I don't know what the big deal is! I mean, he's different, and nobody likes him anyways! Me and my 'boys' have teased kids like him for 20 years now."
The parents of his past athletes were at the school board meeting that enacted his suspension, for his support.
Also, parents of slower students were in attendance, claiming that Mr. Brunty treated their children as lower forms of life.
Mr. Brunty addressed them stating, "Well, they are slow. They don't belong with regular children. If you don't like it, don't let them sign up for my phys-ed class!"
Mr. Brunty is also facing criminal charges as well. Moon Valley County Attourney Jerry Weaselmann stated, "Well, uh, I really hate to charge anyone, uh, and I guess we could, uh do an investigation, uh, but hopefully he'll plea bargain or something, uh, I've really got no comment at this time."
Mr. Brunty released this statement in closing, "Look, people, it's an age old understanding. Jocks and losers. If your child is not gifted with any athletic abilities, then keep 'em out of anything involving sports! Kids that are different should be aborted, not taught that they should try to 'blend' in with normal people. I can't stand that thinking! So if your kid is fat, cripple, a non-black minority, liberal, artistic, or wants to be an individual, keep 'em outta my class!"
Mr. Brunty was also accused of "scratching" himself, in front of the students. "I'm a guy for godsakes! If I got an itch, I scratch it!"
The accusations stated that Mr. Brunty stole clothing from one of his students while he showered, and has been harassing said student. The student, has been removed from the school district and is currently enrolled at nearby Jaxon school.
In his defense, Mr. Brunty stated, "The kid wasn't a true athlete, kids like him used to get teased all the time when I was going to school! I don't know what the big deal is! I mean, he's different, and nobody likes him anyways! Me and my 'boys' have teased kids like him for 20 years now."
The parents of his past athletes were at the school board meeting that enacted his suspension, for his support.
Also, parents of slower students were in attendance, claiming that Mr. Brunty treated their children as lower forms of life.
Mr. Brunty addressed them stating, "Well, they are slow. They don't belong with regular children. If you don't like it, don't let them sign up for my phys-ed class!"
Mr. Brunty is also facing criminal charges as well. Moon Valley County Attourney Jerry Weaselmann stated, "Well, uh, I really hate to charge anyone, uh, and I guess we could, uh do an investigation, uh, but hopefully he'll plea bargain or something, uh, I've really got no comment at this time."
Mr. Brunty released this statement in closing, "Look, people, it's an age old understanding. Jocks and losers. If your child is not gifted with any athletic abilities, then keep 'em out of anything involving sports! Kids that are different should be aborted, not taught that they should try to 'blend' in with normal people. I can't stand that thinking! So if your kid is fat, cripple, a non-black minority, liberal, artistic, or wants to be an individual, keep 'em outta my class!"
Mr. Brunty was also accused of "scratching" himself, in front of the students. "I'm a guy for godsakes! If I got an itch, I scratch it!"
Comments:
<< Home
Accused molester emasculated by Blight Lake Cougar
CEYPHILLUS - A local gym teacher accused of molesting young teens and bunny rabbits was emasculated when he allegedly waggled his twig and berries at a cougar in a Farten County park last weekend.
Twenty-five year veteran of Farten County Rural School District Dunce Pooten - who was on a year long "personal tour of duty"- was taking a hike through the Blight Lake park area, located about eight miles northeast of Ceyphillus. Pooten was reportedly looking for bunny rabbits to squeeze and collect the feces into Mason jars to add to his collection, when he came across the "Blight Lake Cougar."
While there had been many reports of cougar sightings in recent years, many people chose to believe that it was only a legend. Ironically, the many tales of Pooten wagging his twig and berries at the children in the locker rooms was written off as legend by other teachers and administrators.
Pooten, who had never met anyone or anything he couldn't intimidate by wagging his genitals at it, reportedly whipped down his pants zipper and flashed the growling cat his goods.
Farten County Sabbatical learned that attending physicians spent several hours attempting to reattatch Pooten's genitals - which reportedly resembed a bloody piece of Salisbury Steak by the time the cougar was done. The surgeries were unsuccessful, and Pooten's detatched genitals have since been confiscated as evidence.
"That cat played with his bits and pieces like it was a string and ball of yarn, I'll tell ya what," one Ceyphillus Ambulance rescue worker said.
The Farten County Sabbatical reporter who originally broke the cougar and Pooten molestation stories took the news in a typical boastful fashion.
"They called me a yellow journalist when these stories were published!" she was overheard hollering from her favorite barstool in the local grub and pub. "Well, who's peeing themselves now? Ha ha-ha-ha! Ho Hah! Oh crap, I think I'm going to..." She then passed out face first in her basket of cheese sticks after one too many MaiTais.
Post a Comment
CEYPHILLUS - A local gym teacher accused of molesting young teens and bunny rabbits was emasculated when he allegedly waggled his twig and berries at a cougar in a Farten County park last weekend.
Twenty-five year veteran of Farten County Rural School District Dunce Pooten - who was on a year long "personal tour of duty"- was taking a hike through the Blight Lake park area, located about eight miles northeast of Ceyphillus. Pooten was reportedly looking for bunny rabbits to squeeze and collect the feces into Mason jars to add to his collection, when he came across the "Blight Lake Cougar."
While there had been many reports of cougar sightings in recent years, many people chose to believe that it was only a legend. Ironically, the many tales of Pooten wagging his twig and berries at the children in the locker rooms was written off as legend by other teachers and administrators.
Pooten, who had never met anyone or anything he couldn't intimidate by wagging his genitals at it, reportedly whipped down his pants zipper and flashed the growling cat his goods.
Farten County Sabbatical learned that attending physicians spent several hours attempting to reattatch Pooten's genitals - which reportedly resembed a bloody piece of Salisbury Steak by the time the cougar was done. The surgeries were unsuccessful, and Pooten's detatched genitals have since been confiscated as evidence.
"That cat played with his bits and pieces like it was a string and ball of yarn, I'll tell ya what," one Ceyphillus Ambulance rescue worker said.
The Farten County Sabbatical reporter who originally broke the cougar and Pooten molestation stories took the news in a typical boastful fashion.
"They called me a yellow journalist when these stories were published!" she was overheard hollering from her favorite barstool in the local grub and pub. "Well, who's peeing themselves now? Ha ha-ha-ha! Ho Hah! Oh crap, I think I'm going to..." She then passed out face first in her basket of cheese sticks after one too many MaiTais.
# posted by 
: 6:57 PM
: 6:57 PM << Home
