Friday, February 25, 2005
KILL 'EM ALL: GETHARD PROPOSES 'FINAL SOLUTION' TO METH PROBLEM IN MARTINA COUNTY
(AP) Sherriff Cant Gethard testified today before state senators during a hearing on the methamphetamine problem in rural Minnesota. During the hearings, one senator, a reported liberal affiliated the with anti-American, pro-destruction-of-the-nuclear-family organization Tolerance Minnesota called for more treatment options for meth users.
After hearing this, Gethard burst into a rage, yelling, "go back to the kitchen where you belong, femi-nazi! Treatment ain't a-gonna do no good no how. Gotta do sumthin' bout thisy here epi-demic, gotta do sumthin' right quick, you hear. You hear me hippie? I said I'm talking to you, yeah you over there. Thats right, YOU! We need one of them final solution type thingies. Those tweeker bastards is flammable! We can douse in gas an' torch 'em! stack 'em like fire wood and heat our homes. Do you hear me, hippe? They burn, I tell ye. They burn! They's like zombies 'cept ye cain't jest cut off the head! The body gets movin' again, looking for more meth, damn critters ain't even need a head. We gots to fry 'em up by the dozens, like chicken!" Gethard was roundly applauded for his common sense reasoning and sound advice. Several senators promised to co-author a bill to legalize the burning of meth addicts, since all agreed that cutting off the head would not suffice. Methamphetamine is also known as "meth" "ice" "rocket" "smack" "crack" "joint" "tea" "reefer" or "devil's dandruff."
After hearing this, Gethard burst into a rage, yelling, "go back to the kitchen where you belong, femi-nazi! Treatment ain't a-gonna do no good no how. Gotta do sumthin' bout thisy here epi-demic, gotta do sumthin' right quick, you hear. You hear me hippie? I said I'm talking to you, yeah you over there. Thats right, YOU! We need one of them final solution type thingies. Those tweeker bastards is flammable! We can douse in gas an' torch 'em! stack 'em like fire wood and heat our homes. Do you hear me, hippe? They burn, I tell ye. They burn! They's like zombies 'cept ye cain't jest cut off the head! The body gets movin' again, looking for more meth, damn critters ain't even need a head. We gots to fry 'em up by the dozens, like chicken!" Gethard was roundly applauded for his common sense reasoning and sound advice. Several senators promised to co-author a bill to legalize the burning of meth addicts, since all agreed that cutting off the head would not suffice. Methamphetamine is also known as "meth" "ice" "rocket" "smack" "crack" "joint" "tea" "reefer" or "devil's dandruff."
