Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Baptist Minister Encourages Boycott
Faremount. Local Baptist minister Reverend Skoolprairie sat on the steps of city hall demanding that the good citizens of Faremount boycott Master Movies. This, following his investigation of the local Master Movies store where he found a secret section of hard core pornography. Reverend Skoolprairie stated, "It took me awhile to find this section of the store, but God opened my eyes to it. When I went back there, I felt as if the bowels of hell opened up and swallowed me!"
Some people attending the rally supporting Reverend Skoolprairie were there carrying signs saying "All Sex is Rape" and "God Hates Gays, That's Why There's AIDS". Others in attendance who were opposed to Reverend Skoolprairie were asking why.
"Child molesters watch porn," he answered. "and afterwards, they molest children."
One man responded to this stating: "What about Skin mags, and soft core porn being sold at other businesses in town? Aren't they as bad?"
Reverend Skoolprairie rebutted, "No, I've watched soft core porn, and read Playboy, Jugs, and Hustler and never felt like molesting children."
A smaller group of people at the rally were quoted as saying that thanks to Reverend Skoolprairie, they now know where the hardcore porn is.
In an unrelated story, Skoolprairie has just been inducted into the "Chum of Lakes Key Club", where well known names in town gather with their wives and toss keys into a hat and swap wives. "Oh, it's harmless like that reality show." Skoolprairie states. He joins other well known folks as Rick Jensen, owner of Mulligan Water, Stu Peace, CPA and Moon Valley Commissioner, Vlad Gephardt, Moon Valley Sheriff, Ron Gray, Moon Valley Corrections officer to name a few.
Some people attending the rally supporting Reverend Skoolprairie were there carrying signs saying "All Sex is Rape" and "God Hates Gays, That's Why There's AIDS". Others in attendance who were opposed to Reverend Skoolprairie were asking why.
"Child molesters watch porn," he answered. "and afterwards, they molest children."
One man responded to this stating: "What about Skin mags, and soft core porn being sold at other businesses in town? Aren't they as bad?"
Reverend Skoolprairie rebutted, "No, I've watched soft core porn, and read Playboy, Jugs, and Hustler and never felt like molesting children."
A smaller group of people at the rally were quoted as saying that thanks to Reverend Skoolprairie, they now know where the hardcore porn is.
In an unrelated story, Skoolprairie has just been inducted into the "Chum of Lakes Key Club", where well known names in town gather with their wives and toss keys into a hat and swap wives. "Oh, it's harmless like that reality show." Skoolprairie states. He joins other well known folks as Rick Jensen, owner of Mulligan Water, Stu Peace, CPA and Moon Valley Commissioner, Vlad Gephardt, Moon Valley Sheriff, Ron Gray, Moon Valley Corrections officer to name a few.
