Thursday, August 31, 2006
Lost Bird Gains New Nationality
Faremount. While working at his "day job", Lost Bird was approached by former Armstench, IA police officer now repair technician Steve Ogre. Mr. Ogre, who is one of those people that have a boundary problem, and like to talk, point within a person's private space; and is also one of those people that talk over you, know more than you, and has been there and done that and if you've done before, well...he's done it 10 times better.
"Well," Mr. Ogre began, "Mr. Big Kahuna is here."
"Yeah, Steve," I answered bothered, "what do you want?"
"Well, your hair....as curly and long as it is, you look like a sand nigger."
Now, granted, my psychologist will tell you* that I've got a bit of an anger management problem. So as red lights were flashing off and on in my head, I grabbed his shirt and slammed him into our shelves.
"If you know what's good for you." I spat, "You'll shut your (expletive) mouth before I knock you're goddamn (expletive) teeth out."
"What?" he asked miffed, "Did I offend you?"
That got me thinking. Did it offend me? Actually, the name itself was not an insult to me. It was more or less the man's ignorance in this day and age. And how he thought the term "sand nigger" was okay. How is this ever okay?
Well, I place it in my many nationalities that I have become thanks to the ignorance of the people who share my air. Right now: I'm Itallian, Korean, Mexican, (expletive) Wetback, Nigger, Phillipino, Chink, Nigra (i think that's an African AMerican with a hard on), Maori, Mowi, and now a sand nigger.
*um, my psychologist, Dr. Sweetass, would like me to say that if you did ask him about my anger management problem he could not tell you as per HIPPA, and client patient confidentiality. The only way he would share this information is if you were an intended target that I was going to place harm upon. That, or a crisp fifty.
"Well," Mr. Ogre began, "Mr. Big Kahuna is here."
"Yeah, Steve," I answered bothered, "what do you want?"
"Well, your hair....as curly and long as it is, you look like a sand nigger."
Now, granted, my psychologist will tell you* that I've got a bit of an anger management problem. So as red lights were flashing off and on in my head, I grabbed his shirt and slammed him into our shelves.
"If you know what's good for you." I spat, "You'll shut your (expletive) mouth before I knock you're goddamn (expletive) teeth out."
"What?" he asked miffed, "Did I offend you?"
That got me thinking. Did it offend me? Actually, the name itself was not an insult to me. It was more or less the man's ignorance in this day and age. And how he thought the term "sand nigger" was okay. How is this ever okay?
Well, I place it in my many nationalities that I have become thanks to the ignorance of the people who share my air. Right now: I'm Itallian, Korean, Mexican, (expletive) Wetback, Nigger, Phillipino, Chink, Nigra (i think that's an African AMerican with a hard on), Maori, Mowi, and now a sand nigger.
*um, my psychologist, Dr. Sweetass, would like me to say that if you did ask him about my anger management problem he could not tell you as per HIPPA, and client patient confidentiality. The only way he would share this information is if you were an intended target that I was going to place harm upon. That, or a crisp fifty.
Radio Gah Gah Hates Kiwi's
Faremount. Known only as Dan “I hate Kiwi’s” Bookends, the morning mouth of KCFM 105.6, is using his celebrity in his campaign of hate. Using his hate messages disguised as “morning show humor”.
The hate campaign started out as a few colorful comments made about the New Zealand police, and now is increasingly insulting the citizenship of New Zealand. One ex-radio personality, known only as “The Big Kahuna”, is of New Zealand decent, reported that Mr. Bookends has made deliberate attempts to have him fired at the station. Mr. Kahuna had even drawn funny comic strips to try and gain Mr. Bookends favor and to no avail had his reputation thrashed. “Eventually,” Mr. Kahuna recalls tearfully, “Mr. Bookends had me demoted to copywriter. Making me write copy about…farming, seeds, herbicides and pesticides, John Deere tractors. And then he made me dance naked atop the radio towers singing the ‘Faremount Life is Good’ theme song.”
Mr. Kahuna ended the interview abruptly and broke into sobs. There is also reports that Mr. Bookends has also made Mr. Kahuna dance in a grass skirt with the flock of rabid sheep that graze in the field nearby.
Mr. Bookends could not be reached for comment at the time of this article, but it is on record that Mr. Bookends has created a blog devoted to the thrashing of Natives of New Zealand. The statement from the blogsite: FartonMaorisSatirical.blogspot.com is as follows: “These goddamn kiwi’s need to stay out of our Cherokee Nation! When they tried to migrate to Spearfinch, South Dakota, me and the tribe skinned the primitive bastards!!”
There is no end to Dan’s trail of terror towards New Zealanders. He has even added a female voice to his message of hate, whom he has let take over the reading of the obligatory bigoted messages over the 100,000 watt airwaves. Is there no end?
The hate campaign started out as a few colorful comments made about the New Zealand police, and now is increasingly insulting the citizenship of New Zealand. One ex-radio personality, known only as “The Big Kahuna”, is of New Zealand decent, reported that Mr. Bookends has made deliberate attempts to have him fired at the station. Mr. Kahuna had even drawn funny comic strips to try and gain Mr. Bookends favor and to no avail had his reputation thrashed. “Eventually,” Mr. Kahuna recalls tearfully, “Mr. Bookends had me demoted to copywriter. Making me write copy about…farming, seeds, herbicides and pesticides, John Deere tractors. And then he made me dance naked atop the radio towers singing the ‘Faremount Life is Good’ theme song.”
Mr. Kahuna ended the interview abruptly and broke into sobs. There is also reports that Mr. Bookends has also made Mr. Kahuna dance in a grass skirt with the flock of rabid sheep that graze in the field nearby.
Mr. Bookends could not be reached for comment at the time of this article, but it is on record that Mr. Bookends has created a blog devoted to the thrashing of Natives of New Zealand. The statement from the blogsite: FartonMaorisSatirical.blogspot.com is as follows: “These goddamn kiwi’s need to stay out of our Cherokee Nation! When they tried to migrate to Spearfinch, South Dakota, me and the tribe skinned the primitive bastards!!”
There is no end to Dan’s trail of terror towards New Zealanders. He has even added a female voice to his message of hate, whom he has let take over the reading of the obligatory bigoted messages over the 100,000 watt airwaves. Is there no end?
Monday, August 07, 2006
bonjour,,,,
i passed here in Flores and i tried to connect my blog but find yours... hope you re enjoying your trip in guatemala as strong as i do...
tikal was wonderfull and i long to be as happy as i am here for my hole life !
my names is marine, i m french... see you later
i m gonna see the sun in the lake.... and eat frijoles con pollo por supuesto !
tikal was wonderfull and i long to be as happy as i am here for my hole life !
my names is marine, i m french... see you later
i m gonna see the sun in the lake.... and eat frijoles con pollo por supuesto !
